The web pages of Stephen Penney

Monday, 15th December, 2003
Naughtius Maximus


You're a Roman! Beside the Tiber River, you and your people were created by the great Romulus and Remus. Beginning as a small, unheard of town in Italy, your people overthrew their rulers and grew to become the largest Empire known to man.

Which ancient society do you belong to?
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Thursday, 11th December, 2003
If you like many others have bought the 2004 Good Beer Guide, you may have noticed that its cover is, well, rubbish.
Apart from the stupid colour scheme - monochrome except for the beer, it looks like they've used a different photo and done a bad photoshop job on it. Notice the way none of the liquid seems level with anything else. Notice the bloke on the right doesn't seem to be holding his pint properly, if at all. Notice that the woman on the left, who seems to have been added as an afterthought, seems to have a "pint" glass of a different size to the others. I bet you could find a picture of these three in exactly the same position holding wine glasses.
All in all, it looks like a vain attempt to make Jehohah's witness city types look like real drinkers.

Well, IWD and myself (real drinkers if ever there were any) have produced an alternative front cover, depicting a far more realistic drinking scene. Fell free to cut this out and stick it to the front of your copy:


Wednesday, 26th November, 2003
I thought you might like to know what was no.1 in the UK charts on each of my birthdays. Although I don't know why you would be, 'cos I'm not.

0 - You're The One That I Want by John Travolta And Olivia Newton-John
1 - I Don't Like Mondays by The Boomtown Rats
2 - The Winner Takes It All by Abba
3 - Green Door by Shakin' Stevens
4 - Come On Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners
5 - Give It Up by KC And The Sunshine Band
6 - Two Tribes by Frankie Goes To Hollywood
7 - Into The Groove by Madonna
8 - Lady In Red by Chris De Burgh
9 - I Can't Stop Loving You by Michael Jackson And Siedah Garrett
10 - The Only Way Is Up by Yazz And The Plastic Population
11 - Swing The Mood by Jive Bunny And The Mastermixers
12 - Turtle Power by Partners In Kryme
13 - (Everything I Do) I Do It For You by Bryan Adams
14 - Rhythm Is A Dancer by Snap
15 - Living On My Own by Freddy Mercury
16 - Love Is All Around by Wet Wet Wet
17 - Never Forget by Take That
18 - Wannabe by The Spice Girls
19 - Men In Black by Will Smith
20 - No Matter What by Boyzone
21 - When You Say Nothing At All by Ronan Keating
22 - I Turn To You by Melanie C
23 - 21 Seconds by So Solid Crew
24 - Colourblind by Darius
25 - Breath by Blu Cantrell feat Sean Paul

Updated 25th April 2016:

26 - Thunderbirds / 3AM by Busted
27 - You're Beautiful by James Blint
28 - Hips don't lie by Shakira
29 - The way I are by Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson and D.O.E.
30 - I kissed a girl by Katy Perry
31 - Never leave you by Tinchy Stryder featuring Amelle
32 - Beautiful Monster by Ne-Yo
33 - Swagger Jagger by Cher Llord
34 - Heatwave by Wiley featuring Ms D
35 - Wake me up by Avicii
36 - Am I wrong by Nico & Vinz
37 - Drag Me Down by One Direction


Tuesday, 11th November, 2003
I bought these off ebay last week - possibly the smallest set of handbells in the world!


Thursday, 23rd October, 2003
I thought I'd try to see if I can get a composition to look half decent on here, so here's a date touch for next year:

2004 Stedman Caters
Stephen W Penney

4 5 16 214365879
a 514326879
- - 2 213456879
- s 3124
- 2 2143
b 214356978
- 2 4132 |
- 2 3124 |A
- s 2134 |
c 213465879
A 214365879

a = 1,11,14s,15,21s,25
b = 2,9s
c = 2,7s,9s

Start at backstroke with rounds as the first row of a slow six.


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